


First to Love You the Most

by Crown_of_Winterthorne



Series: What Happens After... [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kuroo does not actually make an appearance in this one, Last Summer Together-type Feels, Love Confessions, M/M, Polyamory, mostly referenced in discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crown_of_Winterthorne/pseuds/Crown_of_Winterthorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Happens After... Summer Training Camp ends?</p><p>It's a quiet trip home for Fukurodani after training camp is over. Everyone is all too aware that it was their last one together and that after Nationals, they will never be the same. For Bokuto and Akaashi, it feels particularly melancholy: it was their last summer with Kuroo, and their last with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First to Love You the Most

**Author's Note:**

> This began as an expansion of the "Restive" Drabble from my [31/Three Challenge.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7645972) It gained a life of its own from there and decided that it was probably, almost certainly a sequel to ["City Lights Like Stars in the Sky,"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7650652) but you don't need to have read that one first.

The bus ride home wasn't very long, but they had claimed the back seat anyway, with Bokuto stretched out across it and his head in Keiji's lap, the two of them sharing a single pair of earbuds. If their teammates minded, no one said anything. For all their teasing, Keiji knew that they loved Bokuto, and respected him as much as they respected Keiji. Judgments had no place on their team and no one would ever dream of hurting Bokuto's feelings on purpose.

There had never been any announcements, but everyone knew. It was a given at this point that their setter and ace were inseparable; moments like these were allowed privacy.

The pair was particularly sober tonight; Bokuto had bounced back to his usual self with their win over Karasuno, but this was a different kind of mood. Almost introspective. Keiji was always reserved, but he knew that he too seemed sad tonight. There were fewer smiles between them. Fewer words. They had both been quiet ever since saying good bye to Nekoma's captain.

It was a given too, that whenever their teams met, wherever Kuroo was, Bokuto and Akaashi were never far away.

Their unusual silence— _Bokuto's_ silence—made for a surprisingly melancholy trip home. The rest of the team felt it too. Even without Bokuto and Keiji's relationship with Kuroo being... whatever it was, that sense of change and endings would have remained palpable and it bled over onto the others.

They were all keenly aware that summer was nearing its finish, that their team was facing its final chance at nationals with Bokuto at the helm and the other third years beside him. It was a growing, bittersweet feeling that had lingered over all of the teams, not just Fukurodani, as the afternoon slipped away and they said their good byes to each other. There was a camaraderie that was ending and would never quite be recaptured in the same way again, because the next summer would see new faces. Wouldn't see old ones. Their own team would be nearly unrecognizable. Not necessarily better or worse, just... different.

Keiji suspected that the third years were feeling it the most. Especially Bokuto, because although Keiji knew he had tried to deny it, tried to keep that impending sense of "The Future" at bay, it was starting to feel far too real. It was no longer a distant, abstract concept but a rapidly approaching reality.

Bokuto had said as much the night before, his voice strangely subdued and his head bowed against Kuroo's shoulder, Keiji's hand clasped to his heart. He was probably thinking about it again, because he couldn't sit still.

Truth be told, even when Bokuto was still, he was never really still. Tapping fingers, a jiggling leg, fleeting micro-expressions that flew across his face as they tried to keep up with his thoughts. These were simply all part of his high-energy nature. Keiji had long ago grown used to ignoring those distracted smiles and wiggling limbs. Even as solemn as they were tonight, after saying good bye to Kuroo with the heavy realization that the next time they saw him, it would be at prelims, Bokuto was particularly restive. He grasped one of Keiji's hands in his own, lacing and unlacing their fingers together upon the solid expanse of his chest.

Holding Keiji to his heart again.

With his free hand, Keiji stroked Bokuto's hair, humming along with the music that played in his right ear. It was Kuroo's music, a playlist that the two of them listened to when they missed the other captain. It was heavy and fast, certainly nothing relaxing; Bokuto's foot tapped in time to the pounding beat. In spite of that, his eyes were closed as if to sleep–and failing miserably at the pretense. Keiji smoothed his thumb over the crease between pale, highly arched brows, sighing softly and leaning back to watch the sunset outside the window.

He couldn't sit still either.

"Akaashi."

"I know," he said, a slight sigh on the end of his words. "Me too."

Groaning, Bokuto turned onto his side, curling his body onto as much of the small seats as he could and burying his face into Keiji's belly. When he finally spoke, his voice was muffled. Miserable. "Why does summer have to end? I was looking forward to taking you to Nationals again, but now... I never want it to come."

"I know," he said again, looking over the seats at the heads of their teammates. Their friends. In a year's time, he was going to be leading a different group of young men. He wouldn't be doing it with Bokuto at his side. Bokuto would barely be at his side at all, once he went away to university.

He would be lucky if he saw Kuroo at all.

Shaking his head, Keiji blinked his eyes quickly and took a deep breath to calm his suddenly pounding heart. He didn't want to think that way. Bokuto and Kuroo didn't want him to think that way. They had said that the night before too, stolen away together to one of the empty classrooms with blankets and pillows, Kenma and Konoha reluctantly promising to run interference for them with the coaches.

"Akaashi," Bokuto murmured, drawing back enough to look up at him with one golden eye. It always startled him to see the intelligence lurking behind Bokuto's exuberance, his bravado and naiveté. Bokuto had a knack for seeing to the heart of a situation.

At least when it came to Keiji.

"We're not leaving you behind," he promised, echoing words that he had said in that Shinzen classroom. Words that had been whispered against Keiji's pulse, with their fingers entwined and Kuroo's arms around them both. " _I'm_ not."

"I know." He was saying that too much, but there was nothing else he could say. Not if he wanted to keep his composure, his dignity. He had cried enough the night before. He still flushed to think about it, remembering how Bokuto and Kuroo had reassured him, their tears making his own bearable.

He wouldn't break down in front of the rest of the team.

"You should come over to my house tonight," Keiji offered after a long moment of aching silence. He looked out of the window again. The sky had turned to purples and blues, the clouds streaked with the dying orange of sunset. "We... could call Kuroo-san."

"Yeah. Yeah, I like that," Bokuto managed a grin. He snuggled his face back against Keiji's stomach, twisting his fingers into his jacket. Keiji went back to petting his hair, using both hands now.

They stayed like that until they reached the school parking lot, where they said their good byes to the team, the coaches and managers. Coach gave them some inspiring words, and Bokuto perked up enough to offer some of his own. It didn't lift the feeling of finality that had settled over the group, but it was enough to rouse some smiles and determination. Summer was ending, but they were just beginning on their journey back to Nationals. They still had time to play together. They would make the most of it.

They would _win._

"Even if it means beating Kuroo-san?" Keiji asked as he and Bokuto waited for the train.

"Even if. I mean, I'm gonna hate it, but we're gonna do it. We promised each other, didn't we?"

"We did," Keiji nodded. They had all three agreed in the very beginning that whatever happened on the court stayed there and their relationship wouldn't come onto the court either. It had never seemed more important than now to make sure they kept that promise.

This year was gearing up to be something special. They could all feel it. Keiji couldn't sure who it was going to end in tears for, and if it would only be over volleyball. He didn't want to find out. He didn't want it to be any of them, but it was inevitable. Even if both Fukurodani and Nekoma made it to finals at Nationals, someone would have to lose.

It wasn't fair and it hurt his heart to realize, but if someone had to be brokenhearted, he would rather it be Kuroo. Kuroo would get over losing; he wasn't so sure that Bokuto would.

Keiji let his hand brush against Bokuto's and he offered a small smile when the older boy looked over at him. The brilliant smile he got in return made his chest feel tight even though Keiji thought he should be immune to Bokuto's smiles by now. He linked their little fingers together, quiet and discreet, the tiny bit of contact somehow enough to make his entire arm tingle.

"I want to win too," Keiji said. "I know I'll have another chance next year, but I want it to be with you. It won't be the same with anyone else."

He didn't know why, but Keiji expected a joke. He expected Bokuto to laugh and respond with his self-assured bravado, an _"Of course it won't be the same! I'm awesome!"_ What he got instead was more of the evening's melancholy and uncertainty, Bokuto's smile vanishing and his shoulders slumping.

"Nah. You'll be fine. You're amazing no matter who you're playing with."

Keiji shook his head. "No. I know I can play with anyone, any team, but I don't... I don't _want_ any team. I want ours. Yours and mine with Konoha-san and Komi-san and the rest. I... I wish that we had one more year together, just like this."

"Keiji-kun..." Bokuto's voice was a little awed, his eyes wider than usual. The rarely used honorific paired with his given name made Keiji's carefully crafted stoicism falter.

"I don't want anyone else as my ace," he finished in a whisper, wishing that they were anywhere else but at the train station, with the evening crowds and the arrival tones sounding. He wanted more than anything to throw his arms around Bokuto, to kiss him and cry into his shoulder, because this hurt. It hurt more than he had ever imagined, gripping his heart and squeezing. He didn't know how he would ever survive Nationals. Graduation.

Bokuto put his hands firmly onto Keiji's shoulders, holding him at arm's length with the kind of tension that suggested he wanted to yank Keiji right into his arms and never let go. To anyone else, with their practice clothes and matching athletics bags, he might have looked like a good captain reassuring his junior, but his words were spoken with more meaning than that, the same as Keiji's. "I don't want anyone else to be your ace either."

The rest was left unspoken as they boarded the train and as they stood beside each other, silently counting the stops. Keiji's heart was in his throat; he couldn't have spoken if he wanted to. He wondered if anyone other than Bokuto, who knew him so well, could tell that behind his even expression, he was screaming inside.

At their stop, they walked the short distance to Keiji's home, holding hands once they were on the quiet residential streets, away from prying eyes. Bokuto's grip was tighter than usual, belying the easy words that he offered his mother on the phone when he told her he'd be staying the night at Keiji's. He was no good at lying, but it was true enough when he said that the last day at camp had been exhausting and Keiji's place was closer. There was no need to add that neither of them could have borne being separated after the emotional afternoon and evening they had shared, both with the team and each other.

They offered the same explanation along with their greetings to Keiji's parents as they deposited their shoes at the front door and went upstairs into his bedroom. It was immaculate as ever but they carelessly tossed their bags at the foot of Keiji's bed almost as soon as the door was shut behind them. Keiji locked it reflexively. He looked up at Bokuto, twisting his fingers together until his captain, his ace, his boyfriend took those slim hands into larger ones.

"We were going to call Kuroo-san," Keiji said, glancing away. He didn't know if he could bear going back to that moment on the train platform. Not when he had finally shoved down the bubbling mix of emotions trying to crawl out of his stomach.

"In a minute," he said in his rare, serious tone. The one that sent shivers down Keiji's spine whenever it was directed at him. "Akaa— No. _Keiji_."

He answered. He couldn't not answer. "Yes?"

"I'm going to take you to Nationals. And after I graduate, after you've taken _your_ team to Nationals, you're going to come play with me in university."

"You've decided this?" he arched an eyebrow.

"I know this."

"There's a difference?"

"You decided it ages ago. I'm just saying it." He pulled Keiji closer, letting go of his hands to wrap around his waist. Keiji's arms went around his shoulders, holding on tightly. "You're going to play with me and Kuroo and we're gonna be fucking unstoppable. Because I'm your ace and he's... he's... fuck. What's the ace equivalent to a middle blocker? There's nothing romantic and cool that I can say here, is there?"

Keiji couldn't help it. He started laughing, shaking his head. "Stop with the volleyball euphemisms, Bokuto-san. You've lost the momentum."

He groaned. "We should have called Kuroo. He's better at this kinda wordplay."

"After," Keiji said, running his hand through Bokuto's hair. It was in disarray from the bus ride and Keiji attempted to smooth it back.

"After?"

He sighed, feeling more at ease than he had been since they said good bye to Kuroo. "After I tell you that I love you, Koutarou-san."

Bokuto's responding smile was warm and thoughtful—Keiji thought that he could literally see the happiness filling him. The kiss that Bokuto gave him was exceedingly gentle. "I love you too, Keiji. I... am I the first one?"

"You've always been first," Keiji whispered, closing his eyes against Bokuto's shoulder. They swayed a little, held each other tighter. He loved Kuroo too, had never imagined that he would be lucky enough to know love this strong and true so young, let alone feel it with two people. But Bokuto was Bokuto. "You're my ace."

—END—

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found at [crown-of-winterthorne](https://crown-of-winterthorne.tumblr.com/)for more Haikyuu!! fics/drabbles/occasional doodles (and lots of Gundam Wing as well).


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